You Wouldn't
by RobinRocks
Summary: And Suzaku didn't. SuzakuxLelouch. Spoilers for finale of R1. Oneshot for Narroch.


A little gift for my co-writer **Narroch**, who is **21** this fine day (28th January). Yes, yes, ironically, it isn't _Death Note_ – it's _Code Geass_. I say "ironically" because we have never actually co-written anything in the _Code Geass_ fandom…

But now that you've seen the whole series, I figure it's okay for me to throw this at you. :)

It's kinda short, but, eh… I hope you like it!

You Wouldn't

That night Lelouch left the bed and went to sit on the windowsill. He drew one knee up to his chest, let the other long, slender limb hang over the edge, and rested his head on the flat of his knee.

He watched Suzaku sleep, the other boy on his back, his face turned towards the window where Lelouch sat; his brown curls tousled, sticking out at odd angles, and darker than they should have been. The rhythm of his chest was even and slow, so much calmer than when he was awake.

Lelouch wondered what he was dreaming about.

At night, did Suzaku dream about peace? Did he dream about a perfect world where there was no war?

Or did he dream about blood; about battle?

Or did he relive the nightmare world, the claustrophobic cavern within his own mind, that C.C had cast him into?

Looking at him, Lelouch couldn't tell. Maybe he didn't dream at all. It didn't matter either way, really.

What mattered, truly, was the _other_ thing that Lelouch wondered.

_("I want to tell you something," Lelouch says, "but I don't think I can."_

_Suzaku tilts his head a little, as he often does when he's puzzled._

"_Of course you can," he replies. "You know you can tell me anything, Lelouch – I'm your best friend. I… I love you."_

_Lelouch flinches._

"_Don't say that," he begs. "Please don't say that, Suzaku."_

_At a loss, Suzaku tries to embrace him – but Lelouch recoils violently._

"_Don't," he chokes again. "Just stay where you are. It's better that way."_

_Suzaku seems hurt, but he lowers his arms to his sides again._

"_What's the matter?" he asks softly. "You can tell me – don't be afraid—"_

"_That's just it," Lelouch interrupts. "I'm afraid. I'm terrified… of what you'll say. What you'll do. It __**is**__ going to hurt you, I know that, it can't be avoided, but… even so, I want to tell you, because even though I find it easy to lie, when it comes to you… I just don't want to anymore."_

"_Then __**tell**__ me," Suzaku presses; but he's paled now, as though growing afraid himself of what Lelouch will say._

_As though he __**knows**__ what he will say._

_Lelouch gives a sigh, looking away._

"_Let… me ask you something then, Suzaku," he murmurs. "You say you love me, but… if I told you that I was Zero, you wouldn't anymore, would you?"_

_Suzaku is silent. At a loss, completely and utterly – even if that's what he had been expecting, he cannot make himself speak. _

"_No." Lelouch answers for him, a sad, sarcastic little cough of a laugh in his voice; he looks up and meets Suzaku's gaze. "You wouldn't.")_

Lelouch leaned back against the cold window of Suzaku's Ashford bedroom, wrapping his arms around himself, digging his fingers into his own flesh; he exhaled sharply and closed his eyes—

"Lelouch?"

His eyes opened again, and he turned his head towards Suzaku; the young soldier was sitting up in bed, rubbing sleepily at his forehead to push his hair from it.

"What… are you doing over there?" he asked, tilting his head (the way he often did when he was puzzled). "I didn't push you out of bed, did I?"

"No." Lelouch lowered his knee and turned, sitting properly on the edge of the windowsill. "I was just… I… What woke you up, anyway?"

"The absence of your bony elbows." Suzaku grinned. "I'm so used to them it feels weird not to have them digging into my ribs."

"You're so funny."

"Come on, come back to bed. I don't know quite what to do with all this space." Suzaku beckoned to the violet-eyed boy with a little wave of his fingers; but when Lelouch didn't move, he gave a groan and sank back to the pillow. "Oh, don't make me come and get you. I'm not wearing anything."

"Alright." Lelouch got up and came back to the bed. "I don't want you parading around naked."

"You just say that…" Suzaku propped himself up on his elbows as Lelouch crawled across the sheets to kneel next to him; his jade eyes suddenly narrowed. "…Are you wearing _my_ shirt?"

"It was the first one to hand," Lelouch replied defensively of the white school shirt clearly too big for him. "_I_ don't want to parade around naked either, especially not in front of a window."

"That's no excuse for stealing my things," Suzaku said lazily, before lunging forwards, grabbing Lelouch by the shoulders and slamming him on his back to the mattress. "I'm afraid I'm just going to have to take it back, you little thief."

Lelouch smiled up at him wryly.

"You wouldn't," he replied.

* * *

There were tears in Suzaku's eyes now as he held the gun, his fingers quivering but his grip firm.

"For Euphemia, for everything you've done…!" he cried.

Lelouch, with his mask in two pieces at his feet, wiped away the blood and only smiled at him. Suzaku had said nothing else, and this wasn't quite the way he had pictured it, but…

"You wouldn't," he said.

And Suzaku didn't.

* * *

So… that's that. Oh, _Code Geass_ – how full of crazy, angsty, traumatised characters you are…

:D

Narroch, happeh birthday! Though it is in fact over in British time, which is when I post this…


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